Explanation
Some broader questions on the theme of romantic feelings are presented to you to create the discussion in the main group and to encourage further reflection. If some young people are uncomfortable answering any of the questions, they are free not to do so.
Educational objectives
- Discuss the types of dating and romantic relationships in adolescence.
- Analyze what dating and romantic relationships represent among peers, boys and girls, versus what their parents experienced at the same age.
- Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using social networks in dating and romantic relationships in adolescence.
Procedure
Before the activity
- Get acquainted with the questions and choose them appropriately according to your group of young people;
- Provide rules of conduct that young people will have to respect (eg.: turn of speech, respect, etc.).
During the activity
- Read the Preamble in front of the young people;
- Ask a first question in the main group;
- Ask the youth who wishes to answer the question;
- You must finish the workshop with the Key message.
Equipment
- A computer (in a small group)
- A computer + backdrop + projector (in the main group)
or, if necessary,
- Printed questions
- Printed Key message
What sign(s) tell us that two young people are dating?
- How do we know that "it becomes serious" in a young couple of your age?
- Are there any differences if one is 12-13 versus 14-15 or 16-17? If yes, which ones?
Would you say that the way of "going out with someone", "having a boyfriend or a girlfriend" at your age is different from that of your parents when they were teenagers?
- If yes, what is different?
- If no, what is similar?
According to you, is there a difference between "dating" and a "relationship" for young people your age?
- If yes, what is different?
- If no, what is similar?
In your opinion, do young people use social networks and the Internet in their dating or relationships?
- If yes, in what way(s)?
- What do you think of this way of doing things?
- Are there any advantages to using social networks or the Internet in dating or relationships? If yes, which ones?
- Are there disadvantages to using social networks or the Internet in dating or relationships? If yes, which ones?
Does youth dating or relationships begin more "online " or " offline "(i.e., face-to-face)? Explain.
- In your opinion, is there a difference between relationships that have started "online " and those that started "offline "(e.g.: duration, quality of relationship, etc.)?
- In your opinion, does the way you meet (" online " or " offline ) have any impact on the pressure or context to have sexual behaviors? If yes, what way (s)?
Key messages
What do you remember from these discussions on dating and relationships?
- There are bound to be differences between what young people your age experience in terms of dating and relationships, and what their parents experienced at the same age. The context, the period, the use of technologies were not the same.
- There are things that don't change: this desire to have a loving look on oneself; this restlessness when one feels in love; this pleasure - when the feeling is mutual - of feeling and knowing oneself to be loved.
- We get the impression that young people your age consume relationships. Technology (e.g.: Internet and social networks) can make it easier to meet someone or even to "flush" someone. We must not forget that these means of communication must not make us insensitive to the other.
- It does not matter what one experiences (e.g.: dating, "friend" style relationship, mutual and displayed relationship), we must treat the other as we would like the other to treat us: with respect and kindness.
- You start your love life somehow, hence the importance of making romantric choices where - as much as possible - you build a collection of beautiful memories for later, despite some missed opportunities or heartaches.
- These beautiful memories will usually come from healthy relationships. Even if sometimes you may have had unpleasant relationships, the memory may be "okay" as long as you feel that you have been able to assert yourself and not have pursued a relationship that is too heavy or even unhealthy.
- When things are going well, everything seems easy. When the relationship is complicated, even unhealthy, it takes time to really understand what is happening, blinded by our feelings of love or embarrassment or shame. In these moments, with hindsight, one must indulge oneself and know how to leave a toxic relationship.